25th
My Creeping Meatballism
Merlin Mann linked to this collection of Jean Shepherd monologues, and it reminded me of my own history with the writer and late night DJ. Of course, all good people have seen A Christmas Story, and many people know the film is based on a book by Shepherd, but I don’t think enough people are aware of Jean Shepherd’s other contributions.
I first encountered his work in the form of a textfile I downloaded from a BBS (look it up) in the early 1990s. The textfile contained an essay by Shepherd called The Night People vs.”Creeping Meatballism”, but had no information about the the author. I assumed it was written by some wise sysop out in the ether, and I only discovered the true author years later (and only made the connection with A Christmas Story after looking up Roger Ebert’s review of the fim).
The essay, originally published in a 1957 issue of MAD Magazine, is available on the Jean Shepherd Web Site (which looks like the internet circa 1996). Here’s an excerpt, but you should read the whole thing:
IN THE LANGUAGE OF “DAY PEOPLE”, I suppose “Night People” may be called many things. Like “soreheads”, “wise-guys”, “egg-heads”, “long-hairs”, “outsiders”, etc. Whatever they’re called, the fact remains they’re a genuine phenomenon. They’re the people who refuse to be taken in by the “Day World” philosophy of “Creeping Meatballism.”The average person today thinks in certain prescribed patterns. People today have a genuine fear of stepping out and thinking on their own. “Creeping Meatballism” is this rejection of individuality. It’s conformity. The American brags about being a great individualist, when actually he’s the world’s least individual person. The idea of thinking individually has become a big joke. Old Thomas J. Watson of I.B.M. came up with the idea for a sign which just said: “Think”. And today, it’s a gag! This is the result of “Creeping Meatballism”. The guy who has been taken in by the “Meatball” philosophy is the guy who really believes that contemporary people are slim, and clean-limbed, and they’re so much fun to be with… .because they drink Pepsi-Cola. As long as he believes this, he’s in the clutches of “Creeping Meatballism”. He’s a “Day People”. Let me give you some examples of “Creeping Meatballism” at work…
WE’LL TAKE SOMETHING THAT’S artistically interesting, and then, because we like it, we’ll overdo it ten times, thereby destroying it. Like for example when Cadillac first came out with those little tail fins. Everybody thought it was great. Guys with Chevies and Pontiacs went out and bought phony tail fins which they tagged on, and all the car manufacturers began to see that there was a “thing” here. So the next thing you know, every car has fins.
I wish I could say the essay had a profound effect on me, and that I took up the call to reject the philosophy of the Day People and became one of the Night People forever, but I didn’t. I identified with it and recognized the truth it held, but I was born one of the Night People and didn’t want to be. I wanted desperately to fit in and be popular, for girls to like me, to drive a nice car and wear designer clothes.
There’s no reason you can’t be one of the Night People and have these things, by the way, but if they don’t come naturally to you, then you have to look to the dominant culture for clues about how to get them. You strive to imitate, and then you bang your head in frustration when you fail at a game with ever shifting rules.
But you know what? It’s never too late to become one of the Night People.
